I attended a conference yesterday presented by Michael Ceo, LPC yesterday on Couples and Affairs: Managing the Clinical Challenges. Confirming my initial notion, there ARE differences in motives when looking at why men and women cheat.
In my work with couples, I have found that men have affairs seeking out their "unmet" sexual needs and women have affairs seeking out their "unmet" emotional needs. Men want to have "a good time," while women are in search of a "soul mate." Women lean towards leaving their relationships, while men don't necessary want to exit, but rather want a "temporary escape."
So, now let me make you aware of something you might not know.
There is growing scientific evidence that our brain chemistry drives the emotional urgency and intensity often felt by individuals who have affairs. Just as an athlete gets a certain "high" from the release of endorphins as a result of strenuous physical activity, this release is often experienced from the "rush" of an affair.
Again, this is why psychotherapy is crucial to those who need to "heal" from an affair. The "participating partner" can learn ways of getting these biological needs met with their spouse rather than with his/her "neighbors, co-workers, friends, etc...
For more information on Neurophysiology and Romantic Love, See Helen Fisher's book titled: "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love.
No comments:
Post a Comment