Do you Have Mommy Issues?

As a daughter of a loyal and strongly motivated woman, I write this blog with the utmost respect for my mother. My mother has taught me to keep going when presented with adversity and most importantly, that I have choices in life to learn and grow from. It is her that I initially call when my kids are sick, I have a difficult day, and most commonly, when need her recipe for fried okra. :-) All these things said, my relationship with my mother is not "issue free." We do have disagreements, arguments and differ on how to cook and clean. I think I can speak for every daughter out there that we all have those "issues" with our mom's that keep us up at night but also, remind us of who she taught us to be and NOT to be.

Enough about my mother and I. Often in my psychotherapy practice I am presented with mother-daughter relationships. These relationships are often conflicted and needing a professional third party to teach them new ways of effectively communicating with one another. I will not bore you with a laundry list of the types of conflict mothers and daughters are struggling with. Parents and their children fight for the same reasons most of us fight, with one exception.......OUR EXPECTATIONS FOR OUR CHILDREN. When presented with adversity, we expect our children to make wise choices. However, when our children's "bad" decisions outweigh "good" ones, I get called. After treating their daughters, I begin to hear statements from daughters that they are "planting seeds" with their mothers. They are approaching their mothers differently and their mothers are actually taking the time to listen and respond rather than reacting under heated emotions. Mother's are witnessing their daughters making the better choices and wanting to learn how they too can change. The good news is this... Mother's are inadvertently reaping the social benefits of their daughters' therapy.

I will end saying this; When planted in the right enviroment and maintained properly, a plant will thrive. It is my hope that more mothers and daughters can both continue to take care of one another and thrive.